Is the Wedding Day a Joy or a Nightmare?

For men this is a little bit easier to relate to, okay perhaps most women won't like what I have to say at all but oh well. The wedding day is a day dreamt of by people for good portions of their lives, plans are made by some people before they are even fifteen years old. They know what they want to wear and what the theme will be and the colors assigned to the day. It is a day of felicity! Then six months or so before the big day the real planning, and paying for, starts and felicity says bye. Arguments start and relationships are strained. It isn't always the bride and groom either, in-laws can become enemies during this time. Since the planning can be the big problem all woes should be over when the big day comes and the time for planning is over... right? Wrong this is the crescendo of troubles! How could this be, we have been dreaming of this day and how wonderful it is going to be since we were kids and since we have started drooling over each other. It's not the in-laws or your Mom and Dad who are ruining the best day of your life, neither is that guy or girl who refuses to fall in line for your pictures. It's not the food being less than you expected or the venues drab appearance. It has nothing to do with the number of people who accepted invites or who performed the ceremony. It's all your fault.

Why in the world did you come up with some crazy elaborate party for a day that isn't about anyone else but you and the person who is supposed to be standing by your for the rest of your life!? Weddings are about the uniting of two people not about a fancy dress or some big rock (which is actually a lot less valuable than the jewelry store sold it to you for). When did we get the crazy idea that weddings have to have this or that?! All you need is three to five people, the guy performing the wedding, two witnesses, and the couple. Nope, you don't need the coolest venue in town and the nicest food. Sorry, but you don't have to pay a thousand dollars to have pictures which you won't care about when you are dead. Stop thinking what you are thinking, all those ideas of what a wedding is supposed to be are just traditions built up over time that have nothing to do with what is actually needed. Mull it over a second or two and you'll see what I mean. I am not for getting rid of marriage even though some would say that is just a tradition too, I believe it is important to not just shack up with someone until they get boring. Marriage is a beautiful thing that gets stained a little by a crazy made up fantasy. And guess what just because you spent thirty grand on your wedding day doesn't mean you love each other that much more and are more likely to stay together. In fact, the stats are against you, if you spend that much you are more likely to end up divorced. So take that 30k and put it towards a house or savings, go to the judge, your pastor, your preacher, or to a temple (scheduled out of course) and get married without the distractions of make-believe big day crud. Focus on your spouse to be instead of on what color your groomsmen or bridesmaids should be wearing, they probably hate the colors anyways. Say no to an industry that isn't actually trying to make the most important day of your life the best memory of your life (they just want your money) and say yes to selflessness in the face of the person you love.

Marriage is more important than a party and love is expressed much more deeply by some very simple things. Your spouse to be will cherish the memory of you doing the dishes or making dinner unexpectedly (for men and women, I cook for my wife often don't you?) more than they will like the clothes they wore. Trust me, marriage isn't an event it is a day by day journey.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Parenting Important? And Styles

I know being a parent is seen in a not so good light these days, like its detrimental to fun and life enjoyment but parents play a huge role in society. Obviously, no one would exist if no one was willing to be parents but beyond that we need people to be good parents and we need more people to be parents. Most of the major ills of the world could be solved with generations of good parents. Perhaps one of the issues is that people have lost the answer to what are the reasons or purposes of parenting. What do you think they are? I’m sure you could google it and find a ton of answers out there but what about your own conclusion? If you can’t come up with a solid answer then you might be looking for the reasons or purposes of parenting. As part of my belief in a Higher power I believe one of the purposes of parenting is to raise good, loving, and righteous members of society. Especially our global society. We have a responsibility to instill in children love, respect
Read more

Devastating or Edifying

The world is full of good and bad people, good and bad events, and a lot of heartaches. We lose loved ones, young and old, and lose our possessions or jobs. People endure starvation, deprivation, abuse of every kind, and all imaginable undesirable events. Some people and families crumble and spiral out of control or distance themselves. Understandable to be sure, life is hard for a lot of people and its a lot easier to remove yourself from the problem or remove the problem from you. Often that can take the form of running away or avoiding close connection. It's so easy because we often have our own individual default responses. It's a sad truth that when the seas get tempestuous a lot of people decide to jump ship on their loved ones. I'm not condemning them like I said it isn't easy to go through hard times, especially for those who endure things like loss of a child or infidelity. But I do think they miss out on a wonderful opportunity. The easy way is sometimes the v
Read more

Sexual Orientation is it Nature or Nurture?

Psychologically speaking there was a conflict between nature and nurture for a long time, and there still is in some cases but it has largely been solved by a synthesis of the two ideas. Most people in the world, as well as many psychologists, would agree that genetics and traits that seem to come with a person when they are born (fewer psychologists would agree with this last part) interact with the environment of a person to make up who they are today. By environment I mean the experiences they have as they grow as well as other factors outside an individual that can influence their development. It certainly makes sense to think this way, certainly, our experiences play a part in the shaping process but there first has to be something to shape. People are not blank slates which are written on by those around them, they are minimally or partially written on slates which flavors our interactions with the world. Yet a lot of people when we discuss sexual orientation, specifically for sa
Read more