Sexual Orientation is it Nature or Nurture?
Psychologically speaking there was a conflict between nature and nurture for a long time, and there still is in some cases but it has largely been solved by a synthesis of the two ideas. Most people in the world, as well as many psychologists, would agree that genetics and traits that seem to come with a person when they are born (fewer psychologists would agree with this last part) interact with the environment of a person to make up who they are today. By environment I mean the experiences they have as they grow as well as other factors outside an individual that can influence their development. It certainly makes sense to think this way, certainly, our experiences play a part in the shaping process but there first has to be something to shape. People are not blank slates which are written on by those around them, they are minimally or partially written on slates which flavors our interactions with the world.
Yet a lot of people when we discuss sexual orientation, specifically for same-sex attraction, go to one of the two extremes. They claim that either a person's environment is all to blame for their current attractions or that it is a genetic thing that cannot be changed whatsoever. Interestingly the people who claim it is all nurture are the same sorts of people who balk at the idea that life is entirely nurtured. Those same people who emphasize nature for same-sex attraction might also be upset at the suggestion that life is mostly nature. I guess nature plus nurture doesn't count when politics gets involved. A weird inconsistency comes up on both sides of the argument when people come into the discussion with pre-decided opinions. There is actually a theory by a Dr. Daryl Bem which mixes nature and nurture to produce a pretty solid explanation for same-sex attraction. Some might see this and say he is just another homophobe who wants to "cure" homosexual people. Actually, I just want to look at things in a more objective manner, something a lot of people today should try doing. I don't hate religious organizations or homosexual people I just like the Bill of Rights. People who attracted to members of their sex deserve to choose for themselves but so do religious organizations. We shouldn't legislate individual lives or religious organizations.
Dr. Bem is in fact attracted to members of his own sex and is certainly not trying to find a way to "fix" people with the same type of attraction he is simply trying to explain it. In a sense his theory goes like this, people are born with certain behavioral tendencies, we are pretty confident in this idea since we can predict things like alcoholism based on progenitors alcoholism, but their environment can lead to one way of thinking over another. So, obviously, those predispositions is a nature kind of idea and anyone who has interacted with newborns (I mean brand new day old or less) knows that not all babies are born behaving the exact same way. So some men are born with behavioral tendencies that lead them to behave or play more like females do and some women are born with tendencies to behave or play more like men. This does not mean though that they are destined to be attracted to members of their sex. This is where nurture comes in. societies the world over have expectations for the behavior of boys and girls, when someone behaves atypically to their gender tendencies they often get treated differently. When sexual attraction begins, typically, it is because we have spent little time interacting with members of the opposite sex so they seem exotic to us and enjoyable to spend time with. If we have been pushed away from members of our sex based on how we play or behave then members of our own sex become exotic in a way. Then we develop more erotic feelings to these exotic individuals. So, in a basic way, it is perceived differences that lead us to feel attracted to a person. This is not the same as the "opposites attract" idea.
My conclusion is that if we recognize and acknowledge gender atypical behavior then we'll stop treating people as weird or different and they will feel less pushed one way or the other. I'm not saying that homosexual people are bad. What I am saying is that we should be kind to everyone no matter what the perceived differences are and if a person ends up being attracted to members of their own sex go ahead it's your choice. Don't tell me it is one or the other, nature or nurture, it is both working together. Perhaps the problem is we think if gender-typical behavior is the only acceptable type of gender behavior as well as telling people that they must be one way or the other, let's let people decide what to do instead of pigeonholing them.
Yet a lot of people when we discuss sexual orientation, specifically for same-sex attraction, go to one of the two extremes. They claim that either a person's environment is all to blame for their current attractions or that it is a genetic thing that cannot be changed whatsoever. Interestingly the people who claim it is all nurture are the same sorts of people who balk at the idea that life is entirely nurtured. Those same people who emphasize nature for same-sex attraction might also be upset at the suggestion that life is mostly nature. I guess nature plus nurture doesn't count when politics gets involved. A weird inconsistency comes up on both sides of the argument when people come into the discussion with pre-decided opinions. There is actually a theory by a Dr. Daryl Bem which mixes nature and nurture to produce a pretty solid explanation for same-sex attraction. Some might see this and say he is just another homophobe who wants to "cure" homosexual people. Actually, I just want to look at things in a more objective manner, something a lot of people today should try doing. I don't hate religious organizations or homosexual people I just like the Bill of Rights. People who attracted to members of their sex deserve to choose for themselves but so do religious organizations. We shouldn't legislate individual lives or religious organizations.
Dr. Bem is in fact attracted to members of his own sex and is certainly not trying to find a way to "fix" people with the same type of attraction he is simply trying to explain it. In a sense his theory goes like this, people are born with certain behavioral tendencies, we are pretty confident in this idea since we can predict things like alcoholism based on progenitors alcoholism, but their environment can lead to one way of thinking over another. So, obviously, those predispositions is a nature kind of idea and anyone who has interacted with newborns (I mean brand new day old or less) knows that not all babies are born behaving the exact same way. So some men are born with behavioral tendencies that lead them to behave or play more like females do and some women are born with tendencies to behave or play more like men. This does not mean though that they are destined to be attracted to members of their sex. This is where nurture comes in. societies the world over have expectations for the behavior of boys and girls, when someone behaves atypically to their gender tendencies they often get treated differently. When sexual attraction begins, typically, it is because we have spent little time interacting with members of the opposite sex so they seem exotic to us and enjoyable to spend time with. If we have been pushed away from members of our sex based on how we play or behave then members of our own sex become exotic in a way. Then we develop more erotic feelings to these exotic individuals. So, in a basic way, it is perceived differences that lead us to feel attracted to a person. This is not the same as the "opposites attract" idea.
My conclusion is that if we recognize and acknowledge gender atypical behavior then we'll stop treating people as weird or different and they will feel less pushed one way or the other. I'm not saying that homosexual people are bad. What I am saying is that we should be kind to everyone no matter what the perceived differences are and if a person ends up being attracted to members of their own sex go ahead it's your choice. Don't tell me it is one or the other, nature or nurture, it is both working together. Perhaps the problem is we think if gender-typical behavior is the only acceptable type of gender behavior as well as telling people that they must be one way or the other, let's let people decide what to do instead of pigeonholing them.
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