Men vs. Women or Men and Women

This one will be a little more of a tender subject, I like to think I am a middle of the row guy on this subject. Women and men (or Men and women) are different on a biological level. Sorry to all you people who want to pretend we are completely equal in every way. But that means that women are better at some things than men and men are better at some things than women. The issue is that we think that if everything isn't the exact same for everyone then it is unfair... if that is unfair then nothing is fair because even if you work really hard to make it all even, people experience things different from each other so you can never get things perfectly even. I'm also not saying that a woman's place is in the home, making food either. Lets just all get the bitter cup of truth down and move on. One of the differences is in how romance goes for men and women.

Men really like to get intimate to feel like they are coming closer to a woman but women want to feel close before they will be intimate, at least in the U.S. Nothing is wrong with either one thinking that way it is just what it is. And arousal patterns are quite different as well, the stereotype joke of men being rather quick and women take their time. Seems kind of like a conundrum to have them be so different in styles. Really though it is a great opportunity for them to come together. Think about it, sexual intimacy is really easy to be something that is all about me but the best experiences come from thinking about your spouse. Sure there is tons of pleasure involved and it seems to gratify a bodily need and we can enjoy the experience a lot but that only goes so far. Not just in sex but in pretty much every aspect of life focusing on how another person feels or making things good for them will make your own experience so much better. Seems rather backward, doesn't it? Just try it out and you'll see. As we focus on making the experience of the other person enjoyable then we lose our expectations of good or bad in a situation and feel joy. It would be easy to think all he cares about is sex and she doesn't love me anymore because she won't have sex with me. If men forget their thoughts of I want to feel close to her and help her feel close to him before they have sex then it will more likely result in having a good time and ultimately sex. If she focuses on him wanting to feel close through sex then she will have an opportunity to get close and feel that. But the beauty is that it needs someone else and that you don't worry about it, their happiness and enjoyment becomes your main concern. It has been easy throughout my life to focus on my own needs and wants, avoiding opportunities to help others and do good for them. However, since I got married almost a year ago and I found out my wife and I were expecting a child I have come to value the need to not only focus on my wife but to also prepare to let go of my own desire for her attention and get ready to absorb myself in the life of my wife and daughter. Love and intimacy aren't about what I like they are about what they want or need. Lose yourself and you will find yourself in those you surround yourself with.

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