Fathers are they really that important? YES!!!!!!!
Our world today is littered with fatherless homes and motherless homes. Yet, mothers often are left with taking care of children on their own or mostly on their own. Doesn't mean I think mothers aren't better at raising children, they often are and rightly get custody. But there is something to be said about fathers. It's not that fathers are better than mothers at one thing or another (different discussion, men, and women complement each other) it just that they are different and their presence, as well as the mothers, has an effect on the atmosphere of a home. Either wives and husbands drift apart and divorce leaving the situation in a bad place with the temptation of a father to let things go with his "old" family or there was no marriage, to begin with, and they feel no obligation to be in the child's life on a regular basis. Perhaps its what they are used to seeing or what they grew up with themselves? regardless it does not build contributive and useful members of society. We don't have to argue about the results of many studies which show the effect of having a single mother home. Once again I'm not saying mothers are incapable or doing things wrong. I'm just saying it makes things hard for the mothers and just that alone can cause issues all around.
So the moral of the story is we need to find a way to help the fathers of the world be real fathers, not just father children. A father is someone who is there for his children and helps the mother of his children teach them good morals and work ethic as the mother helps him teach it. I know kinda weird that working together they are more successful than working alone. There is something about having them both around that benefits the children tremendously! Even a father who isn't that great but is around (not a bad father, just below average) will help his children more than the guy who is there once a year.
Sadly it is a vicious cycle with children without fathers often fathering children and being absent themselves. Or they are scared of the responsibility so they avoid it. Either way, absent fathers beget absent fathers. How do we solve this issue? Not an easy answer, I'm not sure I really have it either. One important thing we could do is quit talking down about men and fathers, sure they mess up a lot but they are still useful and have the potential for good influence on the world. Another thing we could do is we could talk about the benefits of fathers being at home.
We also need to talk about helping fathers be better and what their good efforts can result in. A recent study found that not only are present fathers good and helpful but that they also found that when a father is warm and sensitive there a lot of gains to be had. One of their main conclusions was that when the fathers do cultivate an atmosphere with warmth and sensitivity and participate in activities that help their children be stimulated, the children's ability to learn is improved. Other results included that the children would be better with social and emotional skills and the kids would be better at engaging with others. One explanation is that this gives the children another model to follow. This all leads to the conclusion that fathers have a "unique" influence on the emotional, social, and cognitive development of their children. (Baker, C. 2017)
My own father worked hard but was home often. He is phenomenal at engaging people in a manner which is civil as well as one that helps people feel respected and appreciated by him. I have had many people tell me that he always seems happy to see them and is sincerely interested in what they have to say. I have worked to try and model this loving manner of interaction, people like to be heard and not talked over. I am not as good as he is at it but I am trying and without him, in my life, I would not have had as many opportunities to see this modeled. My mother is wonderful but a little more curt haha. I learned that I can control my own actions and reactions but not others from my father speaking to me about how I was treating people. I have always appreciated his loving and tender care that has taught me compassion and forgiveness.
Fathers are not optional they are indispensable.
So the moral of the story is we need to find a way to help the fathers of the world be real fathers, not just father children. A father is someone who is there for his children and helps the mother of his children teach them good morals and work ethic as the mother helps him teach it. I know kinda weird that working together they are more successful than working alone. There is something about having them both around that benefits the children tremendously! Even a father who isn't that great but is around (not a bad father, just below average) will help his children more than the guy who is there once a year.
Sadly it is a vicious cycle with children without fathers often fathering children and being absent themselves. Or they are scared of the responsibility so they avoid it. Either way, absent fathers beget absent fathers. How do we solve this issue? Not an easy answer, I'm not sure I really have it either. One important thing we could do is quit talking down about men and fathers, sure they mess up a lot but they are still useful and have the potential for good influence on the world. Another thing we could do is we could talk about the benefits of fathers being at home.
We also need to talk about helping fathers be better and what their good efforts can result in. A recent study found that not only are present fathers good and helpful but that they also found that when a father is warm and sensitive there a lot of gains to be had. One of their main conclusions was that when the fathers do cultivate an atmosphere with warmth and sensitivity and participate in activities that help their children be stimulated, the children's ability to learn is improved. Other results included that the children would be better with social and emotional skills and the kids would be better at engaging with others. One explanation is that this gives the children another model to follow. This all leads to the conclusion that fathers have a "unique" influence on the emotional, social, and cognitive development of their children. (Baker, C. 2017)
My own father worked hard but was home often. He is phenomenal at engaging people in a manner which is civil as well as one that helps people feel respected and appreciated by him. I have had many people tell me that he always seems happy to see them and is sincerely interested in what they have to say. I have worked to try and model this loving manner of interaction, people like to be heard and not talked over. I am not as good as he is at it but I am trying and without him, in my life, I would not have had as many opportunities to see this modeled. My mother is wonderful but a little more curt haha. I learned that I can control my own actions and reactions but not others from my father speaking to me about how I was treating people. I have always appreciated his loving and tender care that has taught me compassion and forgiveness.
Fathers are not optional they are indispensable.
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